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Psalm 46:10 says to "Be still and know that I am God."

Why is it so hard to be still? My brain is always racing off in every which way. I can't study. I can't read. The only thing I'm actually capable of doing anymore is writing papers. I feel as though I have lost the ability to relax. It came to my attention a few nights ago when Andrew made sure that I did not do anything before bed and just went straight to sleep when I could. I had a horrible headache, so he came in and put support letters together for me. Quite admirable. He's a gentleman. I don't know how I got so lucky. But I digress...

The point is...can school just end? All I want is to relax...I want to lay in bed and watch hockey and read an enjoyable book. I want to go rollerblading. I want to go on a picnic. I want to go look at the prettiness of Spring. I want to be able to take it in...

Lately, if I haven't been busy with something, I have been forcing myself to be busy with something. I feel as though I am wasting time if I am not doing something school-related. Actually, the only time I really relax is when I'm having a quiet time or when I'm hanging out with Andrew.

I don't like this. I need to take a chill pill. I need to be still. This isn't good for my health at all. My goal for the next week or so is to relax -- to take some time off from life. Like, I almost feel like locking myself in my closet...but I'd probably starve to death, so that wouldn't be very good. Holy crap. That's an awful idea. Scratch that.

Oh, I suppose I'll talk about support-raising really quickly before I end this so I can attempt studying and then go to sleep...I have a little over a month to raise about $3000. I've raised $100 so far. I'm not worried about it, though. I'm actually surprisingly peaceful about it. I'm so excited to see what God will do with this situation. I know He is going to provide for me, of course. He always does, even when I don't ask! So how much more will He provide when I do ask? That's the most exciting part! My mind has been blown by the amount of people who are excited to support me! It's so encouraging! God is so good!

I feel very convicted after I freak about about stress in my life. I know how blessed I am. I am incomprehensibly blessed. I don't deserve an ounce of it...but that is grace. Oh, how thankful I am for grace! Without it...I don't want to know where I'd be. I probably wouldn't have my awesome family, friends, and boyfriend, that's for sure. I am so thankful for them. They are embodiments of grace.

So, Psalm 46:10...prepare to be meditated upon.